"take a cup of cool water"

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about my grandfather passing away. This past week we were blessed to go to Missouri for the funeral services. I took the opportunity to take some pictures of the house and we brought back lots of treasures that will brighten our home with the glow of sweet memories. I wanted to share this precious place with you and see if my words did the pictures justice. As I find places for my treasures, I'll try to share them with you on Instagram.

After this trip I have declared myself a family historian and am going to do my best to gather and document want I can about my family. My mom has done a lot of work on the 'Pyle' family side as well as her family and it's my turn to dive in as well. More on that soon, it's been a long trip.

Another thing this trip taught me was how much who I am today was influenced by two people. My love of listening to all types of music (although I'm not a grand musician myself), my love for reading and writing, my desire of all things homemade, getting back to simple things, big opinions and pig-headedness, hard work, faith, love for others, and a little bit of spunk are all bits that have been passed to me from my grandparents.

I didn't know until we were going through a trunk full of pictures the last day at the house just how much I look like my grandma did when she was younger. I'm not as tiny as she was by an means, but our faces are very similar. It made me smile.

This whole process (for lack of a better word) of grieving the loss of my grandpa, the closing of a chapter, the end of an era has also, in a way, opened a door to grieving the loss of my grandma as an adult. I was just 10 years old when she passed away and while I have sweet memories of her, I barely knew her. Yet, she, like the memories of the house, is etched deep inside me and is an integral part of my person. I grieve that she didn't get more time here, that we didn't get to laugh more and that she didn't get to teach me all the things she loved. I grieve that I never got to hear great words of wisdom or advice from her and that she wasn't at my wedding. I grieve that she and grandpa didn't get to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary (she passed 2 and a half months prior). I grieve that she never got to meet her great grandsons. She would have loved them and spoiled them like she spoiled me.

I grieve that we didn't all have more time together. Yet, through that grief, I am so thankful they are together and happy and whole. They aren't hurting anymore and they get to worship Jesus together forever!

I told Kyle as we were driving out of town that I didn't think I had ever truly experienced what the term "bittersweet" meant until this trip. I have such wonderful memories and smile thinking of them, yet want to burst into tears when I realize those two beloved people are gone from this side of heaven. I walked out in the field and just wanted to keep walking forever. I walked through each room and was afraid to touch anything for fear it would all crumble away forever. This is the end of one chapter and the beginning of another in so many ways. I'll find my way eventually, but for now I'm still wandering around soaking it all in.

"Here, the day gives up its hour,

And time loses it's place.

As the Soul takes a cup of cool water,

And feeds upon His grace."

--Ronald Pyle "The Cool Water Camp"