I’m sitting here tonight just pondering. Yesterday was Palm Sunday, Easter is in less than a week, and my baby boy is going to be three! How is that even possible? How can time go by so fast? Yesterday, after lunch my sweet Raylen asked if he could lay with me. I said yes, of course. He said, “Mama, I lay on your side?” Meaning snuggle as close as humanly possible. As he drifted off to sleep, my eyes filled with tears as I remembered not that long ago how easily he fit on my chest. I remember his first days as we snuggled in the hospital waiting til we could go home. He was so tiny, yet filled every part of me. He made me a mom and I will always be thankful for that.
In these almost three years, our lives have changed so very much. I think back to the final days before Raylen was born and we stayed up late watching TV, packed our hospital bags and I slept til noon. Now, we are up sometimes before 6, we rarely make it past 10 and the only bags we pack are diaper bags.
We’ve had three babies in three years. I never thought I would say that. I never thought I would live it! My heart is filled with awe and gratitude for how the Lord has blessed our little family. How He has changed me. This week is going to be busy, filled with outings and meal prepping and church practices, but I want to make sure to take time and express my gratefulness to the Lord. I think it is pretty special that Raylen gets to share his birthday with Easter this year. It is a double celebration and a wonderful reminder for my heart this year to thank God for His abundant blessing on my life.
In a season when I am struggling so desperately with wanting another child, God is reminding me of His immense love for me. He has wonderful and good plans for my life and the lives of my children, even those I have yet to meet. He is working on me and I want to trust and wait on Him with grateful expectation.
This season of Easter is often overlooked for bunnies, and eggs, and candy. I have been guilty with all the rest, but this year, God has gripped my heart and is drawing me near to Him. He is reminding me to have a heart of gratitude, to be patient with His timing and to pause and reflect on all I have to be thankful for. So, I’ll kiss my boys when I put the to bed tonight and remind them how precious they are to me. I’ll tell them that Jesus loves them and one day they will understand just how big that love really is.